Time to Take Score

Have you ever played a game and not kept score? Probably not. Most people like to know who won the game. Even if you play Solitaire, you are playing to win. You may even play five hands to see if you can win 3 out of 5.

Why do you do that? Because it feels good. The psychological impact of winning is phenomenal.

Something often overlooked is the psychological impact of losing. Whereas winning has a good psychological impact, losing has the reverse impact. In many societies today it has become the norm to give participation trophies to try and limit that psychological impact. However, it doesn’t work. In fact, what it creates is a false sense of security for those who won’t give 100%. Why should they give 100% and work hard when they will get rewarded anyhow?

If winning and losing matter enough in games and sports that we keep score, how much more does it matter in the grand scheme of life?

When you see someone “down on their luck” you can feel it. When someone loses their job the energy that comes from them is nearly palpable. When you mess up and you know it, the feelings you feel can be devastating.

So, how do we deal with constant loss? We bury it under excuses. We bury it under things that hide our contempt. We find ways to make it seem ok when deep inside we know it’s not.

If this is something that hits home for you, join the club. We have ALL been there!

The difference between the winners and the losers? The winners use the dissatisfaction to drive them to new heights of success and the losers keep finding new ways to excuse their mediocrity.

Does that sound harsh? Good. I’m talking to myself as much as I’m talking to you.

As 2022 comes to an end I want you to ask yourself the following question.

What have I done to keep my score this year so that I can do better next year?

As every good coach in any sport can tell you, if you don’t know the score and how you got that score, you can’t practice getting better, you can only practice doing the same thing you’ve been doing.

“If you always do what you always did, you’ll always get what you always got.”

If you want the same thing next year that you had this year and last year and maybe the last five to ten years, don’t worry about your score board. Don’t worry about getting better.

However, if you are anything like me, you want to get better. If you want next year’s outcomes to be better than the last five years, you must make some tough decisions.

With sports and other games, you usually only have a couple of ways to score. Only a couple of things that you can be scored on. Martial arts, figure skating and gymnastics are the only things that I can think of right now where you are scored in multiple areas.

The important thing is that no matter the game or sport, you score by meeting sertain benchmarks and goals. It's time to set your goals!

“Without having a goal, it’s difficult to score.” – Paul Arden

Life has multiple areas to keep score in. Here is a list of five broad areas that you can score.

If you start with those five you can subdivide them into several other areas. Those will get you started though.

Now you have that list, what are you going to do with it? Here are my recommendations.

First, score yourself. Take some time to write down how you feel you are doing in those five areas. Be honest with yourself.

Next, write goals for next year. At least a few goals in each of the five main areas. It could look something like this: